Friday, July 9, 2010

Friends... How Many Of Us Have Them...

Hello All. . .

Randomly felt the urge to blog. . .so let's begin. Now first and foremost, let me make it ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY clear that I am not taking ANY subliminal shots at ANYone...and whatever I write is just coming from experiences of others or whatever I've encountered over the past few years. . . .

So, the topic today is FRIENDS... really, friends... how many of us have them? That statement is true in more ways than one. . . Webster dictionary defines Friendship as: Pronunciation: \fren(d)-ship\
Function: noun
Date: before 12th century
1 : the state of being friends2 : the quality or state of being friendly : friendliness

Now, contrary to that definition. I believe the meaning of friendship goes a tad bit deeper. Now granted. . .I don't believe I have been the best of a friend at a time, or the most dependable. . or even the most concerned friend. At times, I get so caught in my own problems, and my own world that I neglect my "Friends". But one thing I can say, is that I do in fact have a big heart, and any of my real "friends", can contest, that if they ever needed anything I would give it to them and more if I was able. Thru out my life, I've had many friends. Guy friends, girl friends, short friends, fat friends, black friends, hispanic friends, asian friends, ghetto friends, smart friends, ho-like friends, gay friends.. and the list continues. I've had fall out with friends, friends that have stabbed me in the back, friends that have had my back, friends that betrayed me, friends that kept it real. Point is, I've experienced it ALL. Needless to say, all of us have had different type of friends and have different friends that they have for different situations.

with that being stated.

Life has taught me that you cannot call everyone your FRIEND. It may seem like common sense to some, but in all actuality many people hang out with others and confide in them, not knowing that their "friends", may not always have their best interest in heart.

I believe soley that your friends, tell alot about the type of person you are. But if you have a mainstream of drug-dealer friends, and you engage and support their activity, then what does that really say about your character? My definition of a friend is someone who will tell you the truth even when it hurts, but you know that they only tell you out of love, someone who will seldomly talk about you behind your back, and be sure to let you know they said it, someone who will keep your secrets and not use them against you, someone that has the ability to make you laugh, comfort you and help you in the worst of times. . .the list can go on. Some one who is there for you unconditionally and will accept you for just the way you are.

Thru out my 21 years on this earth, I've had many encounters of friendship...i've had seasonal friendships, childhood-friendships, friendships based off past relationships. I've come to learn that true friend ship comes a dime a dozen. But as I got older, I realized that friendship--well false pretenses of friendship can be a tricky thing. You have those that smile in your face and then as soon as you walk away, they are dragging your name thru dirt. You have those that only want to be your friends because you have something the way or need. . .and as soon as they've used you for all your worth, they've dissapeared. It's scary loosing friends, or even finding out that people you thought had your back no longer do. But truth of the matter is, THAT'S LIFE.

--I had a best friend, well I thought we were best friends, he would always look out for me and even help me out financially. I know they say you cant be friends with your past lovers, but we had a great relationship, I could tell him any and everything about my current relationships or personal life and he'd always be there with shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. He had his girls, and I had my guys, and we would always joke around and say that if we didn't find a partner by age thirty then we would get married. All the while, I never thought we would be more than anything than JUST friends. Then I got married, and when he found out, he had a FIT. He would bring up all the instances when I would complain to him about my husband who was then my boyfriend, when in reality I would confide in my bestfriend about however I was feeling at the moment. I regret that so much, because little did I know about my so called best friend. Of course, there are two sides of every story. But it hurt me to hear him say that we just couldn't be friends.. because his momma said "You can't be friends with a married woman...". All the while, I never imagined that he still had feelings for me as more than a friend. Maybe I just took all the wall posts, random text messages and smily faces for granted. He was just so upset that I couldn't see what he saw... and needless to say, after all of that, our friendship was over.

So going thru that situation made me realize how even years of having an alleged friendship, could be broken in half in a blink of an eye. It made me sad to not have anyone left to call my bestie and partner in crime, but true friends support... not dismiss you. So lesson learned,

even the truest of true friendships can stand the test of time,
regardless of the place, season, situation, sexual preference, life decisions.... whatever.

So the moral of the story goes--watch who you call a friend