If This World Were Mine.....

Friday, July 9, 2010

Friends... How Many Of Us Have Them...

Hello All. . .

Randomly felt the urge to blog. . .so let's begin. Now first and foremost, let me make it ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY clear that I am not taking ANY subliminal shots at ANYone...and whatever I write is just coming from experiences of others or whatever I've encountered over the past few years. . . .

So, the topic today is FRIENDS... really, friends... how many of us have them? That statement is true in more ways than one. . . Webster dictionary defines Friendship as: Pronunciation: \fren(d)-ship\
Function: noun
Date: before 12th century
1 : the state of being friends2 : the quality or state of being friendly : friendliness

Now, contrary to that definition. I believe the meaning of friendship goes a tad bit deeper. Now granted. . .I don't believe I have been the best of a friend at a time, or the most dependable. . or even the most concerned friend. At times, I get so caught in my own problems, and my own world that I neglect my "Friends". But one thing I can say, is that I do in fact have a big heart, and any of my real "friends", can contest, that if they ever needed anything I would give it to them and more if I was able. Thru out my life, I've had many friends. Guy friends, girl friends, short friends, fat friends, black friends, hispanic friends, asian friends, ghetto friends, smart friends, ho-like friends, gay friends.. and the list continues. I've had fall out with friends, friends that have stabbed me in the back, friends that have had my back, friends that betrayed me, friends that kept it real. Point is, I've experienced it ALL. Needless to say, all of us have had different type of friends and have different friends that they have for different situations.

with that being stated.

Life has taught me that you cannot call everyone your FRIEND. It may seem like common sense to some, but in all actuality many people hang out with others and confide in them, not knowing that their "friends", may not always have their best interest in heart.

I believe soley that your friends, tell alot about the type of person you are. But if you have a mainstream of drug-dealer friends, and you engage and support their activity, then what does that really say about your character? My definition of a friend is someone who will tell you the truth even when it hurts, but you know that they only tell you out of love, someone who will seldomly talk about you behind your back, and be sure to let you know they said it, someone who will keep your secrets and not use them against you, someone that has the ability to make you laugh, comfort you and help you in the worst of times. . .the list can go on. Some one who is there for you unconditionally and will accept you for just the way you are.

Thru out my 21 years on this earth, I've had many encounters of friendship...i've had seasonal friendships, childhood-friendships, friendships based off past relationships. I've come to learn that true friend ship comes a dime a dozen. But as I got older, I realized that friendship--well false pretenses of friendship can be a tricky thing. You have those that smile in your face and then as soon as you walk away, they are dragging your name thru dirt. You have those that only want to be your friends because you have something the way or need. . .and as soon as they've used you for all your worth, they've dissapeared. It's scary loosing friends, or even finding out that people you thought had your back no longer do. But truth of the matter is, THAT'S LIFE.

--I had a best friend, well I thought we were best friends, he would always look out for me and even help me out financially. I know they say you cant be friends with your past lovers, but we had a great relationship, I could tell him any and everything about my current relationships or personal life and he'd always be there with shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. He had his girls, and I had my guys, and we would always joke around and say that if we didn't find a partner by age thirty then we would get married. All the while, I never thought we would be more than anything than JUST friends. Then I got married, and when he found out, he had a FIT. He would bring up all the instances when I would complain to him about my husband who was then my boyfriend, when in reality I would confide in my bestfriend about however I was feeling at the moment. I regret that so much, because little did I know about my so called best friend. Of course, there are two sides of every story. But it hurt me to hear him say that we just couldn't be friends.. because his momma said "You can't be friends with a married woman...". All the while, I never imagined that he still had feelings for me as more than a friend. Maybe I just took all the wall posts, random text messages and smily faces for granted. He was just so upset that I couldn't see what he saw... and needless to say, after all of that, our friendship was over.

So going thru that situation made me realize how even years of having an alleged friendship, could be broken in half in a blink of an eye. It made me sad to not have anyone left to call my bestie and partner in crime, but true friends support... not dismiss you. So lesson learned,

even the truest of true friendships can stand the test of time,
regardless of the place, season, situation, sexual preference, life decisions.... whatever.

So the moral of the story goes--watch who you call a friend

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

HATE THE PLAYER-NOT the GAME

So,

I've been meaning to blog about relationships for a while and share my insight but i've been extremely busy and partially lazy, but nevertheless. late is always better than never so let's begin.

A lot of my friends have been coming to me about their problems, mainly dealing with relationships, being that i've been in a ton of relationships and some of the toughest, craziest, confusing one's I can understand why i serve as the "Go to Guru". . .lbs, anyway. A lot of my friends are dealing with tough relationships that are on the verge of becoming non-existent while some other relationships have really just reached the point of no return. With that being said, I'd like to share my insight based on my own personal experiences. No i am not a counselor nor do I think I hold the answers to every relationship problem, HOWEVER, i d o indeed feel that i've been around the block a couple times and bumped my head enough to know some of the in's and out's of handling a relationship especially one that has taken a turn for the worse.

i'd like to point out a few things if you don' t mind so. . pardon my realness.

1. never tell your relationship business to your single friends, or your friends in general for that matter. . . .I truly believe that whatever goes on in your relationship should stay in your relationship, only if the dude is beating your ass of course, then that would be a good time to speak up. I just learned that when you get people involved in your business and your relationship, your emotions become a big ball of confusion, and sometimes you act according to what advice your friend gave or you act out of character in order not to look to 'naive' or too 'dumb' or sprung' fact of the matter you can't help who you love. . and i don't care what no one has to say, love will make you do crazy ridiculous obscene things real talk. . . but with this statement being stated, if you feel the need to vent talk to a close family member or a friend you consider family, because believe it or not, some of your friends may give you advice based out of their own spitefulness and --**disclaimer--** avoid putting your emotions on social networking sites . . . this just causes room for more drama and more setbacks. never give the public the satisfaction of seeing you down.

2. when things get rough. . give it time. I wish that i would have learned this early on in the game, this would have saved me a lot of time, heartache, and headache. I really believe that when things get rough between to people, time apart becomes the make it or break it factor. I don't care how much you love that person, or how many horoscopes you read. . . if it isn't meant to be it wont be and there won't be anything under the sun that you or anyone else can do to fix it. I use to be the type of girl that would call him repeatedly and leave emotional voice-mails. i'd be the dramatic one to tell him i couldn't live with out him and ask him over and over why he didn't love me or care about me and how could he hurt me so bad. . .but the only thing that made me look like is a dumb-ass. Seriously, i had to realize that you should never sweat someone who isn't sweating you. I mean hell, if he isn't loosing any sleep than you shouldn't be either, and that's real rap. So to sum it up, I believe that when a couple is at the stage of breaking up and things are bad. . . both parties should step a way and take time and figure things out, because there is nothing worse when a person bugs you when they are trying to figure things out for themselves, and you begging them not to leave or trying to rationalize things will do absolutely nothing but ADD fuel to the fire....

3, don't make him a priority when you are just an option. . .

this statement is true for many reasons. never make a man or woman a priority when you are just something to do in their eyes. if he is going out partying not having a care in the world then neither should you. I mean don't be fake and try to throw guys all in his face when clearly you aren't over him, because that's just dumb and pointless, he knows it and you know it. But I don't believe that anyone should but too much energy into anyone if they wouldn't do the same, but for some reason, i really believe this is common sense.

4. Realize when enough is enough. . .

I don't know about you, but i was the type that just did not want to walk away from the situation, i don't care how bad it was, i mean it could have been the most unhealthy situation, and during that period of time it didn't matter because i just wanted to work out so bad. . it was terrible. I just feel like people now a days need to learn up front what's acceptable and what's not. I mean honestly, i feel like people are afraid of loosing the one they 'love' because of the 'memories' or how much time they've invested, but i am a sole believer now that LOVE DOES NOT HURT. . . there's a bible verse out there that list's what love is all about, and i do believe it. If a guy is at the point where he's cursing you out, ridiculing you, embarrassing you, manipulating you. . basically, treating you any less than a QUEEN you need to walk away, i dont care how much you claim to love some one. . . one has to learn to draw the line somewhere. If he's putting other things/people before you and you allow it. . then what do you think is going to happen? you think he's just going to change based off a lecture you give him. . .um NO, a man will only do what you allow HIM TO DO. . and that's something I learned the hard way. I just feel like life is too short to be unhappy, too short to be worried about another individual who isn't even family. . . and i guarantee that the best feeling you will ever receive is when you find the strength to walk away, not only walk away but to walk away and leave it there. and that's real

so the moral of the story is, never settle for than anything less than what you KNOW you deserve. there is SOMEONE for everyone, and some people are put in your life for season, and other's for a lifetime, it's up to you to make the decision. "Don't make seasonal situations turn into life time problems".

It is fact that all GUYS ARE NOT THE SAME, and contrary to popular belief there are MORE where that one came from. Take it as a learning experience and chuck the dueces.

Breaking up or walking away is never easy. . .and it probably never will be, but you will endure more pain i think by trying to patch things up then just giving up and leaving the pieces broken.

What's the point of holding on to some one especially when there are no major ties keeping you there [ie: marriage or kids]--life goes on. But ultimately people make the decision of how they want to live their life. I'm in no position to tell anyone to go left or to go right. . I only encourage people to not tread in footsteps that have already been formed, but to make a new path and do something different.

So with that being said. . hate the player, not the game.

Once you switch up the roster, you will indeed find a new found appreciation for the game.

Its MY LIFE- Remember that when you talk about it. . .

It's been a minute since i've blogged. . but i truly believe the best material is the most random . . . so here goes nothing!

I stole this quote from a friend, but I can definitely relate. I encountered a situation the other day where some church members felt compelled to enlighten my guardians at church about MY personal life. . mind you haven't been to my home church in about two years AND let's not forget i've been " GROWN & ON MY OWN" so to speak. So they get to telling my family about what they saw on facebook. . . which really makes me believe I'm going to have to start monitoring who I add. . .and who I associate with. I use to not want to believe I had haters, but CLEARLY there are people on my friends list that have other motives. They felt the need to tell my family what goes on in MY HOUSE hold. . last time I checked I was 21 + so <----- BURR!#wheretheydothatat #fail LBS! It just goes to show that people really are nosy and have NO LIFE. I mean I never report what is going on in others personal life, because FRANKLY ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

Maybe I've been a little shallow, a tad bit naive, but i just refuse to believe people are that interested in me that they have to report and "go tell" what they saw on a social networking site. Well,

Nevertheless, I have NOTHING to be ashamed of. I don't have anything demeaning to my character on facebook and no pictures or videos that would cast me in a negative light. . .

and IF I DID. . . SO what EFF IT! it's MY LIFE . So remember that when you talk about it!

Aside from that. People I guess are still adjusting to my new "lifestyle". But I'm quite comfortable & content with the way things are going if I do say so myself, I mean I know it shouldn't matter what people think or say about you,

but really, I'm sensitive. I care. Maybe too much. But the fact of the matter is I'm defeating all odds. People were expecting me to fail, us to fail . . . and for my life to pretty much shamble.

But its actually quite the contrary. . .

My life is wonderful. I'm blessed and I can not THANK GOD enough for all he has done! Don't get me wrong every day isn't paradise, but I've learned in this short amount of time, you have to take the good with the bad, and definitely pick and chose your battles.

But I'm getting goals accomplished, and If no one ever gives me a high five or a pat on the back, I really am proud of myself. My grades this semester are the best they've ever been, I went from not having a job to getting two internships and a job. . both PAID. I went from not knowing anyone in this wretched city of Valdosta, to really meeting some down-to-earth people. I worked almost full time this semester, and had a full course load of 18 hours. . and still managed enough credits to graduate a semester early if I wanted to do. I don't mean to brag. . .

but I got a lot to boast about.

So the naysayers can doubt all they want,

but

don't [Forget]

-its MY LIFE,

so remember that when you talk about it!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Til' Death Do Us Part

Well,

I havent blogged in a while;; since i 1st created this MASTERPIECE. but everything good happens in due time. correct?

January 19th, 2010 i turned the big 21 and january 22nd, 2010 I got married to Airman First class Anthony Maurice Davenport.

Now I know many may be SKEPTICAL about me being married because of the following reasons.

1. i'm "too young" last time i checked 18 was the legal age of decision making

2. we havent been together "long enough" or we dont know each other " well enough". but in the end, what is time really? a pure figment of your imagination, life is short. So why wait? and in the end you can be with some one 50 years and still not really "know" them, so in conclusion. i have know regrets.

Its only been approx. 5 days, not long enough i must admit to really grasp the whole marriage concept... will be a month that we've been married in about four weeks and even still i dont thnk i'll be ready to accept the fact.

I know i have a lot of naysayers on the issue of marriage at this current moment and time in my life, but in regards to my life, and my happiness. WHO REALLY MATTERS BUT HIM AND I?

furthermore, i believe that if we have and use GOD as our foundation, everything detrimental to the growth and development of our relationship shall crumble. Amen.

I am happy. period. I cant explain the feeling. Its like a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of completion in a sense. It feels like a breath of fresh air... and honestly, i feel that i am ready to take on whatever marriage has to offer. After all, if we are going to continue to be intimate and make all these life long plans, i'd rather do it with the grace of GOD. period.

He's military, so basically everything is taken care of (my health, education, housing, food ect and even down the line education and health for our kids Aniyah Faith and Christian Anthony* (yes we have baby names already, we're GAY i know lol)--and honestly finances are our biggest ISSUE. that's really much it, and right now we're arguing over what color bed spread will we have in our bedroom, he's focused on getting a big screen. (typical guys pshhh).

Overall, I know the consequences of my actions, and even though this marriage has come a lot sooner than i expected, i am excited and content on what's to come. There's nothing more rewarding than having someone to help you and support you and love you unconditionally everyday for the rest of your life. Sounds too good to be true huh?

Well, the purpose of this blog was just to enlighten folks on the real deal of my situation, and of course everyone is entitled to their own personal opinions.

So with that being said.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab, But I Said No...

Metaphorically speaking of course. . . .

The first time I saw you, I wasnt interested in using you. I wasnt interested in what you'd do for me, nor was I interested in how you'd make me feel. I didnt find you appealing but yet there was some mystery to you.. and sooner than later I found myself intrigued by what would happen If I gave you a try. . .

It started off slow, I was taking you hit by hit.. puff by puff... not thinking about it.. not even letting you faze me.. I was good, I was in control and I had you at my leisure. could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

It took me some time to get use to you, but after I did.. I started growing fonder and fonder of the feeling you made me have. I was glad that you could make me smile, make me feel good, but scared cuz I didnt want to get attached.

Who would of thought, after a couple months, I'd get use to the feeling.. who knew I'd want you more and more after the first try. I let you in my life, only to realize now that you took me over. I was no longer in control. It's like I was on a high. . . . for days and days at a time.

When I felt bad, you made me feel good.. When I felt sad you made me feel good. Who ever knew too much of a good thing could be bad for you.. cuz I sure didnt. Low and behold.. I found my self stuck.. wanting and needing more of this "good" thing.

Then you turned bad.. in a instance in a second you became my worst enemy.. once felt so good to have you in my life, one little harmless puff one simple snort one innocent sip turned into a plethora of drug filled days.... I was no longer doing it for fun, no longer in control of my life, I was now a statistic... of the many women in the world who were in my shoes, the one's that thought they couldnt get addicted but did.

Many nights I cried and screamed.. tossed and turned because I knew you werent good for me, my friends and family tried to take you away, and forbade me from ever using you again. They saw what I didnt see, and even as a new found addict, they still loved and accepted me.

Now endless nights of withdraw occur... I'm trying slowly but surely to wheen myself off of you. I went to the hospital and pulled out all the iv's and tossed all the pills... because I wanted to be strong on my own, for too long i let this drug hold my hand, i let this drug guide the way, i let this drug control my life, i let this drug control my thoughts. I let this drug live MY LIFE. this drug lived for me. Sadly but true...

But I am now in recovery. I have stayed away from all things things that remind me of this drug, even changed my numbers so this drug dealer will not contact me to reel me back in. Everyday it is a constant battle, and every day i am consistent in prayer with God that i will over come this sin.

Frown upon me for being in rehab, I dont care. Judge all you'd like. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So, let me begin... Hello, My name is Rochelle Golden. I am a recovering addict.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Forever21

So,

Now that i'm getting the hang of this 'blogger trend'... all i need is some followers and insight. sooo.....if anybody is out there, help a sista out!!!! leave a comment, show some love, whatever!

okay, now on to the serious business. my birthday is in approx. 14 days & i go on a cruise with the hunnie in like 17 days, not to mention his birthday is like 9 days away... oh em gee.

Btw;; i really NEED to get him a gift;; i dkn what tho.... ughhhhhhh :/ smgdh! and time is ticking away. ne ideas?

21? like i cant believe it. I thought 18 was legit, but like damn! 21?!?!!? heck, i still look like im like 17. [[no pun intended]]--with age, comes more responsibility. damn. and more financial ties.

btw;; i still owe BOA. need to get that taken care of. asap.

im not really excited;; i feel that time is going wayyyy to fast;; a life is flashing by my eyes, way too soon. so much on my mind, i can barely contain it.

Looking forward to this cruise to the BAHAMAS... really hoping that i have the time of my life. really hope there isnt any drama. hell really hope i dont get stuck there or kidnapped from some islander... but then again, the boytoy is crazy. so the likelihood of that happening is like slim to zero

okay, enough about me, i def need to use this blog for the sake of others. i need to make my blog be beneficial is someone's life, one way or another.

kinda glad i started writing again;; feels good (smiley face)

So after my cruise;; i feel like reality is gonna bite me in the ass. this semester taking all of my hard classes... booooo!!!! and its make it or break it.. and i have to get my grades and gpa so that i can accomplish some more great goals next year [[[madddd subliminal]]] seriously.

life is like a box of chocolates... but id prefer mike and ikes lol

Random. Dueces.

Signed,

Forever21

Aint nothing Like The First Time

Rochelle (Ro-She-LL) noun. is the name.

Yes. My last name REALLY is GOLDEN.

This is MY FIRST TIME BLOGGING:: I LIKE TO TALK, I LIKE TO WRITE...SO LETS SEE HOW THIS GOES.

What is " DAT DEAL" ?

Urban term in my own words for " the total package".

Brains, Beauty, and of course. BIG BREASTS. Lol.

Seriously, Being "that deal", means to posses all the qualities that people admire.

Being talented, being intelligent, being beautiful (not just by society standards), and being an over all

well rounded person.... despite what you've gone thru in the past.

Chelle is what you call me when I let you in my inner circle. Dat Deal is my alter ego/alias Capricorn tendencies..being hard headed and a (REBEL) is fun to me....

Chicago;;my city--my humble aboad. iRep[708].

Music is my passion;; twirling my flag is my past

time.Easy to love;; in both senses of the phrase. Life of the party;; even though i dont like to party. Live life to the fullest bc 2moro is never a gauruntee.

Sociology is my major';;--criminal justice is my minor [[people interest me]]--goals are high--ambition is even higher.

GOD is my foundation;;friends give me joy;; my DADDY motivates me--my family is my backbone. I text, i shop, i rhyme, i dance, i sing... triple quad-rouple-double threat.

I like the color pink. A lot.

&& For The RECORD Nikki Minaj is A BEAST. WORD.